One thing that has been on my mind lately, is the fear of childbirth (technical name, tocophobia).
Sometimes women are afraid of childbirth prior to having any children, and this is not really surprising — after all, the average woman will have seen few actual births, but only those portrayed in movies and on soap operas. Of course, those are all not just dramatized (fake) but are typically dramatic — water breaks and the woman has to get in the hospital this instant or the world will come to an end!! Or she’s stuck in the backside of nowhere in labor with just her husband (yes, I still remember when Jennifer had Abby on Days of Our Lives, and Jack was the only other person in the cabin, with serious snow outside), and everybody is panicking. Or labor is portrayed as the worst and most awful thing that it is possible to endure, until the magic epidural comes and makes everything all right. The other thing that is now available on TV, that I didn’t have as a child, are shows like “A Baby Story” which do portray actual births, but I notice that an inordinantly high number of those end in a C-section, or are otherwise highly interventive; and I’m not surprised that this leads to a fear of birth prior to the woman’s actually giving birth the first time. And this doesn’t even begin to touch on all the labor and birth horror stories that mothers for some reason feel so imperative to scare first-time pregnant women with.
Other women, however, have given birth before, and this experience has made them scared to have any more. Some women may choose never to have any more children at all (this happened to a friend of mine; her daughter is now about 8-9 years old). Or they may choose a C-section because they can accept pain from surgery and the attendant post-op pain (which may be manageable by narcotics), but they fear the lengthy but intermittent pain from labor. But there are other options.
After her first very painful birth, this woman was terrified to give birth again, but she chose to overcome her fears by using hypnosis to relax during labor. If you watch the video on that link, you’ll notice that they show a few clips from an online video of a woman using hypnosis during labor. That woman in the video was Independent Childbirth Educator Sheridan from EnjoyBirth blog whose using hypnosis (Hypnobabies) was what this Georgia mom saw that gave her the courage to try to give birth again. [I’ll clarify that although the news story referred to hypnosis during birth as “HypnoBirth,” that is a name for a particular type of childbirth hypnosis, and Hypnobabies is another, and it was this type that Sheridan used during birth, and what she teaches.]
The fear of childbirth is very real. And it’s understandable, considering all the negative images surrounding birth that we are bombarded by almost from our own births — and considering that most of us were born in less-than-ideal circumstances ourselves (my mom was under general anesthesia and given an episiotomy, and I assume I was dragged out of her womb by my head), perhaps it might be not too big of a stretch to say that we are surrounded with negative birth images from the time of our birth. But all too often, doctors are just willing to tell women who are afraid of childbirth, “Oh, don’t worry about a thing — if you don’t want to give birth, we can give you a C-section.” While I can accept that women should have the right to choose to give birth as they wish, I wish that doctors (and others) would give a little extra time to ask a woman why she’s afraid, and see if they can work through her fears, rather than just cutting her open unnecessarily. If her fear is irrational yet she holds onto it, fine, give her a C-section; but if she has a rational but misguided fear (for example, I heard recently of women who want a C-section because of a fear of their “vaginas exploding”), then get to the root of the fear! Instead of treating her like a little child who is afraid of getting her dress mussed by going outside, treat her like the rational woman she is, and give her true information to combat the